Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say at a Mammogram
20
February

Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say at a Mammogram

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , /

[ Applause ] I want you to stand up. Tell me what not to say when given a mammogram. I’ve got good news and bad news. Bad news, you have cancer. Good news, you have incredible tits. [ Laughter, applause ] These feel like my mother’s. -Ohh. -Ohh. [ Applause ] Mrs. Kirson, the only […]


Comedy Knockout – Sicker Than You

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Comics Stand up. I’ll give you a scenario, You step in and say the most awkward thing you could possibly say. Tell me what not to say when you’re in a hospital. Just real quick before we get started — is anybody scared of a little HIV? Oh. [ Audience groans ] I’m not scared. […]


Comedy Knockout – Anti-Social Media: Ludacris | truTV
19
February

Comedy Knockout – Anti-Social Media: Ludacris | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

You know, celebrities clog up your Instagram feed every day. It’s time to fight back. What’s Luda reading right here? [ Laughter ] I just think he’s so old, that’s how big the font has to be for him to read a book. [ Laughter ] Oh. “Gather ’round, children. It was hos by near, […]


Comedy Knockout – Roast in Peace: Noah Gardenswartz | truTV
17
February

Comedy Knockout – Roast in Peace: Noah Gardenswartz | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Comedians, if you ever wondered how you’d be remembered when you’re gone, now’s your chance to find out. Noah, you’re the first to die. What are Noah’s last words? Weed’s never killed anybody. I’ll be fine. [ Laughter ] Scientifically true. I never told anybody this, but I have a tattoo of Eminem on my […]


Comedy Knockout – Where the Hell Are They Headed?: Little Bo Peep | truTV
16
February

Comedy Knockout – Where the Hell Are They Headed?: Little Bo Peep | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

and we asked them “Where They’re Headed.” Where is this woman headed? Hi, I’m Laura, and I’m headed to… [ Mo laughs ] [ Valley Girl accent ] She’s going to see Ashley and Becky. She’s going to hunt down Little Bo Peep and apologize for killing their sheep. To gentrify Harlem. [ Cheers ] […]


Comedy Knockout – Apology: Ms. Pat | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Hey, audience. My name is Ms. Pat. That’s a stage name. It’s short for Ms. Paternity Test, You’re Inconsistent. [ Laughter ] Losing the show is the worst thing to happen to me. A true story — I’ve been shot twice and hit by a dump truck. [ Laughter ] If I get shot one […]


Comedy Knockout – Apology: Nore Davis

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Time for your apology Nore. Suck it up. Spit it out. Apologize. [ Inhales deeply ] I can’t believe I lost. I thought I killed tonight, just like I did when I was a child soldier. [ Laughter ] My uniform still fits, and it should because that picture was taken yesterday. [ Laughter ] […]


Comedy Knockout – That Look You Give When You See Obama’s Rims | truTV
14
February

Comedy Knockout – That Look You Give When You See Obama’s Rims | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

[ Cheers and applause ] Faces speak louder than words and sometimes even too loud. The Rock has that look you give when… You actually smelled what you were cooking. [ Laughter ] Vanessa. The look you give when someone asks your ethnicity, and even you’re not 100% sure. He got that look like he […]


Comedy Knockout – Jokepardy: Cold Press Juices | truTV
13
February

Comedy Knockout – Jokepardy: Cold Press Juices | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

I give you answers, you give me questions. The microwave. Gina. What is the best way to burn down your ex’s house with just some tin foil? [ Laughter ] Noah, the microwave. [ Laughter ] What is, “How midgets say hello”? [ Laughter ] Micro wave. Matteo. It took a minute. It took a […]


Comedy Knockout – Off Limits: What You Shouldn’t Ask Usher | truTV
13
February

Comedy Knockout – Off Limits: What You Shouldn’t Ask Usher | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Give me some out-of-bounds questions for A-list celebrities. What would make Mark Wahlberg leave the room, Matthew? Mark, you’ve been in movies with Mos Def and Ice Cube. What’s it like to work with a real rapper? [ Laughter ] Mr. Marky Mark, how many times did Calvin Klein make you play “drop the soap”? […]