Comedy Knockout – JV Life Coach: Ask For A Threesome
25
February

Comedy Knockout – JV Life Coach: Ask For A Threesome

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

This guy’s in a bit of a pickle. [ Laughter ] I’m constantly harassed by a well-known gay celebrity. If you were in my position, what would you do? Quit Scientology. Wow. It depends on, like, how big of a celebrity. You know what I mean? I mean, if it’s Larry from “Three’s Company,” you […]


Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say: When Watching a Scary Movie | truTV
25
February

Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say: When Watching a Scary Movie | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

All right. Now stand up… and tell me what not to say when you’re an orthodontist. Look, you’re an adult with braces. You’re not gonna get laid, but I love the optimism. [ Laughter ] You have what we call in the medical profession a busted-ass grille. [ Laughter ] Yo, this chick that was […]


Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say on Your 50th Anniversary | truTV
24
February

Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say on Your 50th Anniversary | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

All right. Now stand up. And tell me “What Not To Say” when teaching pilates. Gina. Welcome to pilates, or as I like to call it, “Rich white women stretching.” Welcome to pilates. 10’s to the front, 4’s to the back, please. [ Laughter and applause ] Damn it. I thought I was hired to […]


Comedy Knockout – Anti-Social Media: Madonna, Give It Up | truTV
24
February

Comedy Knockout – Anti-Social Media: Madonna, Give It Up | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Here are some celebrity posts that are just crying out to be trolled. Jesse Williams looks locked up. What happened? JESSIMAE: I don’t mind the prisoner outfit. I just want to search his body cavities. That’s all I have to say. I want to get up in them cavities! I just didn’t know they were […]


Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say on July 4th | truTV
24
February

Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say on July 4th | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Now, tell me what not to say when you’re a drill sergeant. Sarah. You guys are the best-looking group of privates I’ve ever seen! And I’ve been looking at young privates for a long time! [ Laughter ] -Yeah. That’s true. -Adam. First person to name my favorite Mariah Carey song gets to spoon with […]


Comedy Knockout – Roast in Peace: Gina Yashere | truTV
22
February

Comedy Knockout – Roast in Peace: Gina Yashere | truTV

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Gina: Oh, God. Kevin, what was the cause of Gina’s death? Kevin: The hat was too heavy? Oh [bleep] I didn’t see that picture. Yeah, I didn’t even know. British diabetes? [ Laughter ] That’s not a thing. Lemon: It’s not, but it’s… All right, she told us what she was dying of, but with […]


Comedy Knockout – How we Wasted Our Time in 2016
22
February

Comedy Knockout – How we Wasted Our Time in 2016

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Let’s look at all the dumb things we wasted our year on. Who remembers Ryan Lochte’s Olympic debacle? Seriously. I mean, I guess blondes don’t have more fun. [ Laughter ] He just looks like Johnny from “Karate Kid,” but a bigger dick. -You think he has a bigger dick? -With a bigger dick! Okay. […]


Comedy Knockout – Apology: Julian McCullough
21
February

Comedy Knockout – Apology: Julian McCullough

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

This may hurt but it’s time to read your apology -All right. -Apologize. Julian: Man, I really failed tonight. Last year, I should have asked Santa to put talent under my tree. I don’t like this, I don’t like doing this. [ Laughter ] I love Christmas trees because they remind me of myself — […]


Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say: Twerking on the Moon

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Let’s play “What Not To Say” [ Cheers and applause ] Tell me what not to say when you’re a mechanic, Dave. “Half your upholstery is covered in semen. I didn’t have the energy to finish the rest.” [ Laughter ] “Hey, girl. I got a long dip stick. Let me check your oil.” [ […]


Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say at a Mammogram
20
February

Comedy Knockout – What Not to Say at a Mammogram

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , /

[ Applause ] I want you to stand up. Tell me what not to say when given a mammogram. I’ve got good news and bad news. Bad news, you have cancer. Good news, you have incredible tits. [ Laughter, applause ] These feel like my mother’s. -Ohh. -Ohh. [ Applause ] Mrs. Kirson, the only […]