Substitute Teacher Pt. 2 – Key & Peele
14
September

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /


JAY-KWELIN.
– HERE. – YOU ARE PRESENT?
BA-LAKAY. – UH, HERE.
– UH-HUH. DE-NICE.
– HERE. – GOOD. JE-SEEKA. THANK YOU. – MR. GARVEY? – WHAT IS IT, A-ARON? – SOME OF US NEED TO LEAVE
A FEW MINUTES EARLY TODAY. – OH. OH, IS THAT SO?
– MM-HMM. – AND WHAT, PRAY TELL… IS THE REASON FOR
THIS PREMATURE EXODUS? – YEARBOOK PHOTOS. UM, WE HAVE TO LEAVE
15 MINUTES EARLY TO MEET UP WITH OUR CLUBS. – [chuckles]
OKAY. ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT MIGHT WORK
WITH OTHER SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS, BUT I TAUGHT
IN THE INNER CITY FOR OVER 20 YEARS. NOW, Y’ALL WANNA
LEAVE MY CLASS EARLY SO Y’ALL CAN GO MEET UP
AT “THE CLUB.” AIN’T NONE OF Y’ALL
OLD ENOUGH TO GO TO THE DAMN CLUB! RIDICULOUS. – MR. GARVEY?
– DUMB SON OF A BITCH! DID I
ST-ST-ST-ST-ST-STUTTER? – JUST THEN, YES. – I’M GONNA THROW YOU OUT
THE GODDAMN WINDOW! WHAT, JAY-KWELIN? – MR. GARVEY, WE’RE–
WE’RE TELLING THE TRUTH. WE–WE HAVE CLUBS
AT THE SCHOOL. WE HAVE CLUBS
FOR SPECIAL INTERESTS. – OKAY, I SEE.
SO Y’ALL WANNA PLAY. Y’ALL WANNA PLAY. YEAH, OKAY,
WE GONNA PLAY LITTLE GAMES. FINE. I’LL PLAY. I’M MORE THAN HAPPY TO PLAY
SOME GAMES WITH Y’ALL. ANYONE WHO’S IN A CLUB…
STAND YOUR ASS UP. UH-HUH. OH, YEAH,
THERE IT IS, THERE IT IS. THE USUAL SUSPECTS. WHAT THE HELL CLUB
ARE YOU IN, JAY-KWELIN? – FUTURE LEADERS
OF AMERICA. – OKAY, OKAY. HOW WOULD YOU KNOW
IF YOU’RE GONNA BE A LEADER IN THE FUTURE? IS THERE A STARGATE
IN YOUR BEDROOM? CAN YOU TRAVEL THROUGH TIME,
JAY-KWELIN? – NO.
– THEN SIT THE FLIP DOWN! BA-LAKAY, I–
HERE’S THE THING. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY
I’M ABOUT TO ASK YOU THIS. B-LAKAY,
WHAT CLUB ARE YOU IN? – UM, PART OF THE SPANISH CLUB. – SPAN–THE SP–
YOU ABOUT AS SPANISH AS REE-ON SEACREST, WITH YOUR BIG-ASS
FRAGGLE ROCK HAIR! HOW ‘BOUT YOU, DE-NICE? – I’M IN THE CHESS CLUB. – UH, I’M SORRY, SWEETHEART, YOU ARE NOT
IN THE CHEST CLUB. THE “MOSQUITO BITE CLUB,”
MAYBE. – AH, THAT’S HURTFUL.
– TRUTHFUL. THERE HE IS. A-ARON…
– HEY. – WHAT CLUB ARE YOU IN? – I’M THE PRESIDENT
OF THE GLEE CLUB. WHY DID I TALK? – THE GLEE CLUB?
AAH! LIKE THEY GONNA HAVE
A CLUB DEDICATED TO A TV SHOW! TAKE YOUR ASS TO
O-SHAG-HANNESSEY’S OFFICE RIGHT NOW,
BEFORE I BUST A CLUB UP IN YOUR BUTT!
– OKAY. – GO!
– [crying] OKAY, I’M GONNA GO. – MISCHIEVOUS
AND DECEITFUL! CHICANEROUS
AND DEPLORABLE. – THIS IS PRINCIPAL
O’SHAUGHNESSY. STUDENTS, PLEASE REPORT
TO THE GYMNASIUM FOR YOUR CLUB PHOTOS.
– FAKE ANNOUNCEMENT. NOW, DOES ANYBODY IN HERE
HAVE A VALID REASON FOR LEAVING THIS CLASSROOM?
T-MOTHY. – I GOTTA PICK UP MY DAUGHTER.
– YOU’RE EXCUSED.


100 thoughts on “Substitute Teacher Pt. 2 – Key & Peele

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. I must have watched this clip a dozen times by now, and it’s only just dawned on me… Aaron says they need to leave early for their yearbook photos, yet Mr. Garvy is just taking the register, and after a brief debate, the tannoy announces the club participants have to leave their classes, are we supposed to believe this argument took an entire lesson, or do they only have 10 minute classes? OR was it indeed a fake announcement!?

  3. I feel bad for A-ARON but he most likely was the only one in the class to go to get the yearbook photos cause we was able to leave

  4. Imagine if the principal walked in the class and asked why all the kids with clubs didn’t come down, I wonder what Mr Garbey would have done.

  5. Is the audio messed up for any one else because I’m only getting audio in my left earbud and I went to a different video and had both earbuds working

  6. Firstly, let me say this !

    God DOES NOT HAVE A LAST NAME !

    And Secondly,"
    I hope that all of you have a blessed day and a great life !

    Thirdly,"
    AND this is how most kids feel about this video !

    Too FUCKING DAMN IT IF YOU CAN'T GET TO CLASS ON TIME AND LEAVE EARLY FOR VALID REASONS ! TOO fuck with that fuckin shit yo !

    Go back to hell teach ! And learn that a army rangers and Navy Seals And Marine Marsoc will be Marching down your fuck lips and piping your throat with a tree 🌲 and make your ASS a fuckin window Yea Crazy Fuck ! Ands yes most parents would fuck yo shit up if you abused your abilities ! You have no rights to be a bully you COWARD ! Pick on us minors and little ones ! I'd fist fight him just so he lost his job and assulted a minor to correct his ASS ! For mistreating a child / student ! This is about as funny as our upstate shit teachings yo ! It aint fair or nice !

    That's how i felt about your shit treatment to the children that have a brighter future then meh or that I ever will have ! Courtesy of FUCKS like you POS teacher !

    Now that's how it is supposed to be said right ! Have a lovely day all teachers and people that actually would teach children right ! Sincerely a young man~.

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