This video brought to you in part by Super Hazard Quest! Y’know, one of the best parts of retro games is being able to play on the kouch with your friends, but what if I told you that one of the latest side-skrolling indie titles kan be played anywhere, with no elektricity required? Super Hazard Quest is a tabletop game designed to look and play like a retro sideskroller. Now, when I first saw this game, I was impressed with its really klever design! Players choose from 8 unique heroes and navigate through randomly generated dungeons in search of the game’s final boss, the Scrambler! The first hero to defeat the Scrambler takes all the glory, and with up to 8-way multiplayer and PVP kombat, your worst enemies will likely be the other heroes, and I kan say this from personal experience: Grace teleported the final boss away from me at the last sekond, stole all the glory. I also appreciate that it all fits into a small box, so it’s easy to lug around to a party! You kould pick up the base game on Amazon now, and if you use the promo kode “SSFF2019”, you’ll save 15%! Link is in the deskription below, go from the kouch to the table, unplug and play Super Hazard Quest, the first, and as of now only (?) kompletely analog multiplayer sideskroller, again, that kode is “SSFF2019”, link is in the deskription below, thanks to Super Hazard Quest for sponsoring the video, … now onto the video! You ever see a game that reminds you of a simpler time? For me, it’s Mortal Kombat 11… … on the Switch! How long has it been since we’ve seen a port this kompromised?! Kampaign kutscenes are pre-rendered movies, and then take a huge dump when the real models show up? And the Krypt! Wow! The Krypt has got to be one of the worst-looking and worst-running things ever released by a major big-budget game… ever! And if I’m wrong about that, like, leave a komment and let me know, I would love to see something worse than this, bekause… woof! I ain’t seen fog that bad since Turok 1! It even has an extremely major flaw: Many of the game’s modes, like the story mode, the towers, the Krypt, hell, even the tutorial kan’t be played without an internet konnection. Requiring a portable game to be THIS online makes this port almost kompletely unnecessary, and that’s why it’s perfekt Punching Weight material! You know I love this kinda stuff! Though don’t get me wrong, series elder god Ed Boon promised we’d get 60 FPS on the Switch… – Is the Switch version gonna run at thirty? – No! Switch version’s gonna run at sixty! DEREK: And he delivered! Now, I’m no MK11 expert by… any, any stretch at all, but it seems to play about as good as the PS4 version! Altogether, the Switch version is still at least a kompetent port of a Mortal Kombat game, which you kould NOT say about the lokust swarm of Mortal Kombat games that have been released upon portable systems since the series first upper-kutted onto konsoles in 1993. This is Punching Weight, where we celebrate the weird, ambitious and unnecessary, and in this episode, we won’t be talking about EVERY portable Mortal Kombat port, but the most ambitious portable Mortal Kombat ports! So it’s Stop Skeletons From Fighting… … the skel- the skeletons are fightin’ this time, but it’s okay, it’s… konsentual, pugilist… tournament, fight- it’s just a fun- it’s a fun fight! They’re already dead, so they kan’t… Fatalities are fine, they just gon’ put themselves back together. Why don’t we kall this set the Krypt? Punching Weight doesn’t spend enough time talking about Tiger Electronic games, and you know what? Shame on me, bekause they are arguably the most unnecessary video game thing EVER. But I love ’em! You just gotta appreciate the moxie of trying to port so many varied franchises to an LCD system! However, to be frank, there are too many Mortal Kombat games released on Tiger Electronics, and we’re not gonna get into all of them, but I got a few favorites! [Kintaro screams]
and we’re not gonna get into all of them, but I got a few favorites! Mortal Kombat I got a port, because of kourse it did… “Mortal Kom–” … and then it got re-released with BarCodzz, which is like it’s own thing. BarCodzz are basically how Tiger Electronics did cheat kodes: Each system kame with multiple Codzz that would buff you up, let you skip fights or make your enemies stronger. MK II never got any Tiger Electronic love, but they made up for it with multiple versions of MK3. One version was for the R-Zone, which was an LCD-based kompetitor to Nintendo’s Virtual Boy, if that gives you any idea of how sukcessful it was. “They’re right in my face!” But really, the game that takes the kake is Mortal Kombat Trilogy for the Game.com! This is Tiger Electronics really going for it, leaving their LCD roots behind them and attempting something resembling aktual video games! “And it plays more games than you idiots have brain cells!” Released just a year before the Game Boy Color, the Game.com was the first konsole with a touch skreen, and the first portable system with online konnektivity, in 1997! But it was also black-and-white, with games averaging about 16 megabits. Tiger Electronics used the licensing konnektions they had built up over the last dekade to release a surprising number of ports from big-name franchises, like Duke Nukem, Resident Evil 2, Fighters’ Megamix, and of kourse, Mortal Kombat Trilogy, one of the most ambitious ports of Mortal Kombat ever! It is a severely kompromised port, but there’s still an impressive amount of kontent here. 13 kharakters, 10 stages, and each kharakter has one Fatality, one Brutality, one Babality and one Friendship. You usually don’t see that many finishers in portable Mortal Kombat! But in terms of how it plays, it’s just a glorious greasefire. It’s slow and stiff, animations are jittery, the game almost breaks if two people jump-kick at the same time, the enemy AI is super intense – Oh, and I love this, the game has no music, but you can still sample all TEN of its sound effekts in the Options menu! [ bitkrushed sounds of kombat ] It’s hilarious that specifikally Mortal Kombat Trilogy was on the Game.com, bekause if Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 was, like, Mortal Kombat 3 II, then Mortal Kombat Trilogy is Mortal Kombat 3 III. The PlayStation version had a massive roster of 36 playable kharakters. The Game.com has 13, which is aktually the most playable kharakters of any Tiger Electronics Mortal Kombat game! So there’s that! But in terms of sheer graphikal might, it’s not even the best-looking fighting game on the Game.com! Just look at how Fighters’ Megamix struggles to emulate 3D stages! Ah… gorgeous! But Tiger Electronics wished they ruled over the dominion of terrible portable MK games, but no, that dubious krown still belongs to Nintendo! Thanks to the Game Boy’s dominance in the handheld market, and Acclaim’s willingness to put Mortal Kombat on ANY system, quality be damned, there’s just a glut of awful Game Boy ports, packed to the brim with terrible too-hard AI, poor animations and bad kontrols. Like, they even bundled MK I and II for the Game Boy together and re-released them! Kan you imagine the sheer kojones you’d need to take two of the worst ports ever and sell them in a bundle?! This right here almost takes home the gold, but really, the best of the bunch is Mortal Kombat 4 for the Game Boy Color. You’d think that by the time of the Game Boy Color, and after three Game Boy ports, they’dve have this figured out, but nope! Tiger almost out-terrible’d them with Trilogy on the Game.com, but they retaliated with MK4 on the Game Boy Color! The ambition is only matched by how gloriously awful it is! Mortal Kombat 4 already marked a troubled era for the franchise. After a few years of iterating on Mortal Kombat 3, Midway was ready to experiment with platformers, aktion games and the third dimension. Let’s just say these efforts were met with mixed results. So in a lot of ways, porting Mortal Kombat 4 to the Game Boy Color was already a bad idea. But this little port gives it its all! It has digitized voice samples… [extremely kompressed audio]
“Round 1… Fight!” … and Fatality kutscenes! Yes, kutscenes on a Game Boy Color! Hey, this video might get demonetized by YouTube bekause of this footage? That’s gotta kount for something! Okay, it probably won’t, but a guy kan dream, kan’t he? This port was made by Digital Eclipse, who would go on to make the fantastik port of Dragon’s Lair for the Game Boy Color. They bring that digitized magik here, except it komes at the kost of… everything else in the game? Bekause really, it’s just trash! Like, they got all these voice samples, but I guess they kould only pack in three songs?! And, like, at what kost?! [♪ monotonous 8-bit rumbling ♪] Yeah, get ya good… get ya good headphones for this s***.
[♪ monotonous 8-bit rumbling ♪] [♪ monotonous 8-bit rumbling ♪] [♪ rumbling interspersed with high-pitched dings ♪] Ooh!
[♪ rumbling interspersed with high-pitched dings ♪] [♪ rumbling interspersed with high-pitched dings ♪] Ooh yeah!
[♪ rumbling interspersed with high-pitched dings ♪] [♪ rumbling interspersed with high-pitched dings ♪] Mmh!
[♪ rumbling interspersed with high-pitched dings ♪] [♪ rumbling interspersed with high-pitched dings ♪] [♪ back to just the rumbling ♪] So hot!
[♪ back to just the rumbling ♪] [♪ back to just the rumbling ♪] [Derek laughs]
GRACE: That hot fire! – Holy s***, this is… this is the worst s*** ever! On a skale of Crazy Bus… [♪ randomly pitched 16-bit chaos ♪] … to Doom 32X… [♪ low 16-bit rumbling ♪] … I give the musik a Cheetahmen! [♪ actual 8-bit banger ♪] It would have been fine to just have sound effekts. Silence would have been better, and hey, that’s what they did with Dragon’s Lair! But I still appreciate the effort. I will say that MK4 is still broken like the other three Game Boy MKs, but it’s on the extreme easy side, instead of the stupid hard side, so instead of broken, diffikult AI, I double-flawless-viktory’d Shinnok by spamming Sub-Zero’s slide kick. It’s a goddamn death race to the bottom with MK games on the Game Boy, but MK4 takes the gold! But y’know what, they’re all winners! Okay, I know it’s fun to dunk on the Game Boy ports of Mortal Kombat, I know a lot of people grew up with these games, and from a morbid kuriosity standpoint, they’re really interesting! But the fakt is they’re not that great! And they weren’t the only option for portable Mortal Kombat: Released in tandem with the Game Boy ports were the Sega Game Gear ports, which were way better! I mean, it’s not like they were arkade perfekt, but they were kompetent ports, with better sound and animations, plus the added kolor made them feel more authentik and gory! However, nobody won when it kame to portable Mortal Kombat 3. Both the Game Boy and Game Gear ports are bad. However, I aktually didn’t know that there was an MK3 port for the Game Gear, and that’s bekause it didn’t come out in North Amerika. It was only released in the PAL region, and judging by the prices on eBay, I’d say only just barely released. But I’m thankful the gods of gaming and kapitalism allowed it to be, bekause this port is the reason we have the Sega Master System port of Mortal Kombat 3. Yes, you heard me korrektly: A port of Mortal Kombat 3, a game released in 1995, was ported to the Master System, a konsole made in 1985. How?! Bekause Brazil, that’s how. Mortal Kombat 3 was released for the Sega Master System in 1996, exklusively in the kountry of Brazil. If you didn’t know, Brazil is not only the land where the Master System beat the NES, it’s also the land where the Master System ruled the konsole gaming space almost exklusively for dekades, meaning Sega’s 8-bit system might be the only konsole in the world sold for over thirty years straight! But it’s not just that Brazil is just a bizarro la-la land where Sega magikally beat Nintendo for no reason: Brazil, it turns out, has an insanely high import tax: For example, when the PS4 launched in Brazil, it apparently retailed for $1,899 USD, while it was only $399 in North Amerika. However, the Master System, at the time, was still only 50 bucks. Sega had a partner kompany named Tectoy that was able to get around this import tax by manufakturing Master Systems in Brazil, and Nintendo just never kaught up. And okay, while we say the Master System is still manufaktured there, that’s not totally true? These Master Systems today are plug-and-plays, like a Master System Mini, with tons of games on them. Sidenote: Tectoy also made Genesises/Mega Drives in Brazil, but akkording to former Tectoy CEO Stefano Arnhold: [laughing] WHAT?! So Tectoy had a team that developed Master System games, and also handheld konversions from the Game Gear to the Master System, way after Sega stopped karing about either system. If you didn’t know, a Game Gear is basikally just a portable Master System, so this version of Mortal Kombat 3 is extremely similar, like you’d expekt. There are a kouple differences: The perspektive is different, y’know, pulled back a little more, and the Master System version has musik in the stages! It’s also not good! Like, at all! But if you’ve got the skratch, it’d be one hell of a cherry in your video game kollektion! I mean, how many games kan you play on both the PlayStation 1 and Sega Master System?! One day! One day I will own it! I’ll put it next to Greg Hastings’ Paint- Paintball, sealed! One day. So we’ve seen some bangers so far, but if you kan believe it, portable Mortal Kombat hadn’t quite hit rock bottom just yet. I mean, between Mythologies, Sub-Zero and Special Forces, the series as a whole wasn’t doin’ so hot. [♪ Vince Guaraldi Trio – Christmas Time is Here ♪] But in 2001 kame the legendarily terrible Mortal Kombat Advance by Virtucraft. But don’t take my word for it, Ed Boon himself apologized for it! It is the worst-reviewed Mortal Kombat game on GameRankings, and the all-time third-worst Game Boy Advance game on GameRankings. I aktually don’t want to talk too much about this one, bekause rock bottom is the first step to real improvement, and Midway would aktually start an impressive trend from MK Advance! I’m talkin’ about 2002’s Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance, developed internally at Midway, which was a really ambitious and solid GBA fighter! It inkorporated the 3D graphiks from the konsole versions, and look, some stages even have reflektions! Honestly, this game looks really good, and plays pretty well! Finally, they were taking the portable ports seriously! And on top of that, it’s a kompetent fighting game! Wait… “Prissy Kitana”? “Diva Li Mei?” “Anime Scorpion”, “Anime Sonya”, “Anime Frost”? Yes, to pad out the Krypt in the GBA port, different kharakter skins are unlocked here, and for some reason, each kharakter has an “anime” variant. Which is aktually just a kolor palette variant. I’m not really sure what makes this black Frost or this blue Scorpion “anime”, but I’m just happy the words “Anime Scorpion” exist in a video game. Fighting games on the GBA was aktually a pretty krowded space! Street Fighter and Tekken had excellent showings, for example, so I’m not sure I feel komfortable saying that this one’s near the top. There’s definitely room for improvement. In fakt, they TRIED to improve it! Yes, after years of krappy portable Mortal Kombat games, Midway finally dropped a decent one, and they weren’t done! Enter 2003’s Mortal Kombat: Tournament Edition which, despite the generik name, is an updated version of Deadly Alliance: A different roster, praktice and tag team modes, more kurrency for a deeper Krypt experience… I’m not sure why they didn’t just expand the roster instead of swapping out fighters, I mean, the roster is bigger, but my girl Frost is gone! Still, it would appear that from here, Midway would start taking portable Mortal Kombat games seriously: The DS would receive Ultimate Mortal Kombat which, while yet another port of Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3, was kritikally praised for its online kapabilities and being a good arkade konversion! Mortal Kombat: Unchained is a feature-filled port of Mortal Kombat: Deception on the PSP, and the Vita port of Mortal Kombat 9 is a damn fine port of the series’ big reboot! This probably would’ve been my choice for most ambitious Mortal Kombat port, except now we have Mortal Kombat 11 for the Switch. [snickers] “Press the a button.” A damn fine port in its own right, and also the kulmination of Mortal Kombat’s entire portable lineage! It’s inkredibly kompromised visually, but plays just as tight as the PS4 version, as near as I kan tell! But walking around the Krypt in the Switch version gives me the same feeling as playing the Tiger Game.com or Game Boy Color ports! The choice to make so much of the game require an internet konnektion also does knee-kap so much of the appeal of a portable version of this game, to the point where it’s fair to ask, well… … unless you only own a Switch… what’s the point?! It’s pretty weird, it’s definitely ambitious, and it’s nearly kompletely unnecessary, but it keeps the dream alive, and as far as Punching Weight’s koncerned, it’s a klassik! It’s also not the only time we kan talk Switch games on Punching Weight, the Switch has got more than a few ambitious ports, so if you want us to kover more Switch games, let us know in the komments! Or if you want us to keep wading through the bottomless void of weird Game Boy and DS games, hey, we kan do that too! GRACE: Toasty! – Anyway, thanks so much for watching, we’ve a Patreon, please help us out, every single one of these people, they’re awesome, and they have helped us out! you can be part of the… the ex- Patreon-exklusive podkast, the Patreon-exklusive… Discord, and get videos early, check it out, thanks so much for watching; ring the bell so you kan get the damn notifikations when you get subskribed, all that stuff, thanks for watching, see ya ‘gain real soon! Bye!