Key & Peele – Slap-Ass: In Recovery – Uncensored
14
August

By Stevie Adams / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /


SLAP-ASS! SLAP-ASS!
SLAP-ASS! WHOO!
HEY, GARCIA. – GET HIM UP OUT OF HERE!
GET OUT OF THE LOCKER ROOM! YOU GET OUT OF THE LOCKER ROOM.
AHORA! – AHH, SLAP-ASS, SLAP-ASS,
SLAP-ASS, SLAP-ASS, SLAP-ASS. – WHOO.
– GOOD GAME, GUYS, WAY TO GO. – GOOD HIT, GARCIA. – HEY! OH, YOU DON’T–HEY, HEY,
HEY, HEY, KNOCK IT OFF. YOU CAN’T DO THAT.
GUYS, GUYS, GUYS. PLEASE KNOW, RAFI JUST GOT OUT OF TREATMENT,
REMEMBER? WE DON’T WANT TO TRIGGER HIM
WITH ANY SLAP-ASS. – HEY! WHAT THE FUCK
IS GOING ON HERE? WHY WE ALL ACTING
LIKE THE FUNERAL IN HERE? – NO, NOTHING, RAFI, HEH. YOU JUST CAUGHT US IN THE LULL
IN THE CONVERSATION, MAN. WE’RE HAPPY.
all: YEAH! – YAY!
– WE’RE HAPPY HERE. – I WAS A LITTLE AFRAID
FOR A SECOND, ‘CAUSE, I MEAN,
THAT WAS A GOOD GAME, HUH? GOOD GAME.
– YEAH, GOOD GAME. – ALL RIGHT.
HEY, GOOD GAME. GOOD GAME, MAN. GOOD GAME. OKAY. THERE’S AELEFANTEIN THE ROOM. YOU KNOW,
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. SI, I HAD A PROBLEM. IT WAS BAD. AT MY LOWEST POINT, I WOULD SNEAK
INTO A HORSE’S STABLE. WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF
AT 1:00 A.M. IN THE MORNING WITH YOUR HAND IN THE AIR AND A HORSE’S ASS IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE, THAT’S WHEN YOU KNOW IT’S BAD. – OH, RAFI. – BUT I’M OKAY NOW. I’M ALL BETTER, GUYS, HONESTLY. JUST TREAT ME
LIKE I’M NORMAL, OKAY? – OKAY, RAFI.
– LET’S HAVE SOME FUN. – OKAY, RAFI.
– IT’S A GAME. IT’S BASEBALL.
– HEY, ALL RIGHT. – HERE, HERE. – YOU FUCKING GUYS.
– IT’S A GOOD GAME. – GARCIA, YOU CAN PICK UP
YOUR GLOVE. [whispering]
COME ON, PICK UP YOUR GLOVE. [laughs] HEY, WHAT I TOLD YOU, HUH? IT’S JUST NORMAL, GUYS.
COME ON. YOU SEE, I’M FINE.
I’M ALL BETTER NOW. YOU GUYS CAN DO
THE NORMAL STUFF. BE YOURSELVES.
BEND THINGS OVER. PICK THINGS UP. YOU KNOW, DO YOUR STRETCHES. TOUCH YOUR TOES,
YOU STUPID FUCKERS. – [whistles]
EXCUSE, POR FAVOR. HOLA, AMIGOS. – HOLA.
– MY NAME IS RUBEN. I JUST CAME OVER
FROM THE BRAVES’ FARM TEAM. I’M FROM THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC. – HEY.
– OH. – WE’RE ALL FROM
THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC. – YEAH.
– I’M REALLY EXCITED TO BE WORKING
AND PLAYING WITH YOU ALL. GO, RHINOS.
all: GO, RHINOS. – ALL RIGHT.
– GO, RHINOS! – ALL RIGHT.
– WHOO. – THAT’S THE KIND OF SPIRIT
I LIKE TO SEE THERE, RUBEN. ALL RIGHT,
WELCOME TO THE SQUAD, MAN. – THANK YOU.
– IT’S GOOD TO SEE ANOTHER– – ALL RIGHT.
MUY BUENO. ALL RIGHT. – WE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BOAT. – WHOO. – OH, THEY, UH… REALLY PUT YOUR LOCKER
RIGHT NEXT TO MY LOCKER, HUH? – I GUESS SO. – YEAH, YEAH.
– YOU GOT THIS, MAN. – YOU’RE JUST
SPENDING AN AWFUL LOT OF TIME DOWN THERE, YOU KNOW? – HEY, I HAVE A LOT OF STUFF. – YEAH.
– A LOT. – I SEE THAT. – RAFI, YOU CAN DO THIS. – OH, MY GOODNESS. – YOU OKAY THERE, BUDDY? YOU’RE NOT LOOKING TOO GOOD. – I AM FEELING
A LITTLE BIT FLUSHED. – YOU KNOW,
I GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT YOU. MAYBE WE COULD BE GOOD FRIENDS,
MAYBE EVEN THE BEST OF FRIENDS. – MAYBE ANOTHER TIME. ANOTHER PLACE. BUT NOT HERE. NOT NOW. – WELL, EITHER WAY, WE’RE TEAMMATES, AND SO,
ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU, ASK AWAY. – GOT IT.
– EH. – OKAY.
– GO, RHINOS! – OKAY.
– YEAH! UH! – OH, NO. NO, RAFI! – SLAP-ASS!
– RAFI, NO! – I WANT TO SLAP-ASS!
I WANT TO SLAP IT! – NO, YOU CANNOT PLAY SLAP-ASS.
– YES, I WANT TO SLAP IT. – YOU CANNOT PLAY SLAP-ASS. – YOU CAN’T
KEEP ME FROM SLAP-ASS. – YOU CANNOT HAVE THE SLAP-ASS.
– I NEED TO SLAP IT. – YOU CANNOT HAVE THE SLAP-ASS!
– YES, YES, I CAN HAVE IT. – NO SLAP-ASS.
NO SLAP-ASS. – YES, SLAP-ASS. – NO SLAP-ASS.
– SLAP-ASS– – NO SLAP-ASS. both: NO SLAP-ASS. – THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO HEAR. – I AM SO EXCITED. I AM SO EXCITED. – I KNOW IT’S A BIG ASS. – I’M SO, SO SCARED.
– I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW, I KNOW. IT WAS JUST TOO HARD TO RESIST. – OKAY. – ARE YOU OKAY? – I’M OKAY.
– OKAY. – HEY, GUYS. YOU KNOW MAYBE
AFTER A GAME VICTORY WE COULD ALL GO DANCING, RIGHT?
HUH? BOP, BA-BOP, BA-BOP,
BA-BOP, BA-BOP, BA-BOP. BA-BOP, BA-BOP, BA-BOP. [in slow motion]
BA-BOP, BA-BOP, BA-BOP, BA-BOP, BA-BOP, BA-BOP, BA-BOP, BA-BOP. – [in slow motion]
NO! – SLAP-ASS!


100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – Slap-Ass: In Recovery – Uncensored

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. What makes this even better is that they treat this like a serious addiction. Like Garcia cares about Rafi and doesn't want to trigger his slap-ass tendencies, and he really comforts them. Slap-ass addiction is a serious medical condition everyone, I once knew a basketball player from the Dominican Republic in High School, he was a multi-talented small forward. He have a huge wingspan, good handles, he could pick and pop, pull up from three, drive, you name it. Every time he drained a three on the court, he had to get him some slap-ass. His teammates got it, coaches too, even the referees. He got his with multiple game suspensions, and it ruined his career. If he hadn't gotten addicted to Slap-ass, he could have been the next Jayson Tatum. It took him years to recover, and by that time, he had dropped out of high school. We reconnected years later in the addiction recovery community, and he told me that at his lowest point, He's be in Mattress stores, slapping the pillows for hours, until the police had to drag him away, but those pillows were just not the same compared to the supple asscheek of a basketball player. People need to take Slap-ass seriously, and support those in Slap-ass recovery.

  3. Im a recovering addict and this is funny af tbh. Only it was not so much slapping asses and more like idk xanax and meth

  4. Destiny wanted Rafi and Ruben to be together but they were in the wrong time and place. We need to work towards building a world where butt slapping is not only tolerated but also appreciated.

  5. I love the “I’m so excited” at the end. I wonder if that’s a joke about the famous overacted Saved by the Bell episode of Jessie popping pills crying “I’m so excited.”

  6. The amount of suspense in this skit is unbearable.

    Just like how unbearable it is for Peele to resist to slap ass.

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