By Stevie Adams /

*High Five Sound* TOP’O THE MORNIN’ TO YOU LADDIES My name is Jacksepticeye And welcome to the WWE Wrestling with Emotions! Apparently it’s a speed dating game And a lot of people have asked me to play it But I wanted to play it anyway Just for the sake of the… art style alone. It’s very, um, ‘Beavis and Butthead’ looking I guess you could say I dunno It’s around that era And it reminds me of the old like heavy metal posters When you used to go to a gig And… this is right after the ‘Higher or Lower’ video that I did So I still have all the alcohol in my system I’m going to do another shot Just… Wh-why not? Uh we’re in it so we might as well just stay in it So… *sound of shot glass on the table*
*manly chest pound* OH YEAHHHHHHHH *cough* Right. OK! Wrestlingwithemotions LOOOOOKK at those nipples that look like planes Okay, what do I do? (rough accent that sounds Russian) Okay let’s do this! (normal voice) I got the fucking typical like three finger nose going on Like Zoidberg (reading) Uhhhh, new town, new league, nobody knows me. I can be whoever I wanna do (reading) So who will it be? Oh will I be ‘The’? *cute laugh* Why not? Why not be ‘The’? I’d love to be ‘The’ Uhhh, Sergent Mrs Why not? Mr I look like fuckin” Paul Phoenix from ‘Tekken’ Doctor, Captain, Well of course I’m gonna be Captain Jack! What else am I gonna be? Captain Slack I don’t fucking think so Captain Funky *laughs* Now I get it So the names play off what the next one is Captain Funky Captain Regular *laughs* Captain Moderate I have no strong feelings about this one way or the other Captain Unstoppable Captain Mystery *jackigiggle* *laughs* It was either Captain Unstoppable or Captain Mystery. I like being Captain Mystery. Hey, what’s in my pants? It’s a mystery (Oh god why Jack) Ah, oh no, this Captain Mystery Mega ( ͡° ͜~ ͡°) Mystery Death Mystery Average Mystery Psycho Uhhh… Mystery Average! Captain Mystery Average *giggles quietly* CAPTAIN MYSTERY AVERAGE MAN *laugh* Uhhh… Dad ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ ) Captain Mystery Average Dad *trails off laughing* It’s like a Dad who’s fed up with his life He’s having a mid-life crisis So he goes out for the night He goes out one Friday night and he’s like “Tonight…I’m gonna be Captain Mystery Average Dad!” Dad… dad… dad… dad *fades out* *laughs* (reading) Captain Mystery Average Dad, eh? Yeah, chicks will dig that (reading) Is this look… Is this look good to find me the perfect match? The fact that you even question- Did I just punch a mirror?! (reading) DAMMIT! Get it together Captain Mystery Average Dad! BAM!! (reading) No one’s gonna love you until you learn to love yourself! I’m really wrestling with my emotions Jesus Christ! Oh… Ohhhhkay *sound effects of Jack breaking the mirror repeatedly* Are we done here? Ohhh Okay… I was stan- I was just standing there punching the shit out of me mirror Why wouldn’t anybody love me? *groovy music plays as Jack raises the roof!* Quest for the Perfect Match!! Yeah Baby! Ok, my mic may- might be a tad loud Oh my god! This is awesome! The style of this game is just… mwah! Good Evening everybody! I’m your host: (WWE announcer voice) MC Manny McMaaaaaaaaaaaaan! Get ready for the ride of your life, life, life as you speed date your way through 8 fighters in your quest for the perfect match!!!! match, match, match *fades out* Will you find the opponent of your dreams? Or leave the ring unsatisfied? LLLEEEETTTT’SSSSS GET READY TO RUUUUUMMMMBBBLLLEEE!!! Welcome to… Wrestling with Emotions! YYYEEEAHHH- Jesus Christ! (reading in a deep voice) Drop what you’re doing! The Arms are in the house! Heh, Arms? More like twigs! huh (reading in a deep voice) What would you do if I had your head between my legs? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) uhm Take a big ol’ sniff of that grundle of course Find something good to bite You feelin it? Are you feelin it? Come on- you’re feelin’ it! Yeeah~ Find something good to bite of course (in deep voice) Oooh! You like it dirty huh? Fucking, like it so dirty I love the fuckin music, it’s so like vapor wave So 80’s What’s your dream match? If you could see me in anything what would it be? What do you look for in an opponent? This is so fucking awesome *Jack giggles* (reading in deep voice) Pink spandex leotard, all the way baby. Ummm, sorry your time is up, time to move out Time to roll out You’re a- oh (reading in deep voice) You’re a mystery I’d hate to solve. (reading) Alarms Arms! Love is in the air! (reading) See you never arms (reading) Later Arminator *Jackaboy giggles* EEEEEEE He didn’t have a six pack, he had six fucking oreo cookies underneath his skin Good biceps What the fuck, pretty, shiny, Heart pulpitating, Beautiful Good Biceps *giggles* Ummm Imma have to swip left on that dude. Is swipe left the bad one or swipe right the bad one? I’ve never used Tinder in my life. *Silence* ah no OOOOH I like what I see in this already Cap- Cop Piggy (Manly voice) Spread em! I’m Mr. Piggy! Pigs to meet you! Get Bent Bacon! Evening Officer. (sultry voice) Evening Officer, did I do something bad? (Manly voice) I’m looking for a real bad boy! What’s your offence? I body slam men til their hearts break! I dont’ use steroids I steal moves from other wrestlers I body slam men til their hearts break!! Ooooooohhhh yeah! That’s the stuff! What’s your dream match? If you could see me in anything what would it be? What do you look for in an opponent? Good mugshot, long rep sheet of dirty deeds SIR! Okay, I’m liking were this is heading. Move along Later Baconator Put me away officer! No I need to play hard to get I’m not an easy guy *growls then laughs* Uhh, smells good, Handsome Rough Rider! Yall better respect my athori-tay! He’s not what I’m looking for, sorry. Uh Who is this.. Beautiful person I see before me? (girly voice) Bow Down! King Pretty Guy stand before you King pretty Guy You have the crown that I am looking for More Like Guy Pretty Ugly! That’s Rude! That’s not nice Hi Guy! I’m honored You know what!? I’m gonna have to take some more alcohol For your beautiful good looks Mr. Pretty guy I can’t take it *shot glass hits the table* WOWOOOOOGAH! That’s what I’m talking about. Hi guy! *Derpy noise* *Derpy Laugh* Only the finest men may lay with me! Why should I pick you? *another derpy laugh* I sound like Peewee Herman… (reading) I don’t care. Puck off, Your Majesty! (reading) I’m a filthy peasent! Let me defile you OOOHH NOOOO *groans* I’m a noble knight! Let me challenge you Shall we joust? *Noble Laugh* That’s a Penis Joke! Ooh! I propose a vigorous jousting then! I sound like Grenda from Gravity Falls Its Grenda time! *giggles* What’s your dream match? (reading in Grenda voice) Myself and a worthy opponent, writhing in a pool of caviar. Farewell! Til next time my pretty! *blows kiss* DAAYUUM They have everything I’m looking for Handsome and nice eyes *giggles* What the fuck is this? I’m beautiful Imma give them a heart Imma tick a yes on those Holy shit! I didn’t think I was into bad boys… until just now! (Manly deep voice) Hold on to your moonbag! Radical Ray is here to rock ya! Kill me now! *giggles* Jesus KYS Radical Ray That’s what the comments would say Okay! Hey.. Hey Hey Rayyy! Moonbag Fastened! Thats me all moonbagged up! (manly deep voiec) If you bagged a bodacious babe lik moi, what would you do with my bod? I don’t know Radical Ray what would I do with your hot bod? (reads) Pildeiver til you can’t breath, finish you off with a Jack Hammer- Imma have to pick this just cuz it has Jack in the name. I’m drinking Jack Daniels. Why the fuck not? (deep manly voice) Righteous! Cluuutch move list bro! *Jackboy Giggles* I sound like uh… what’s his name? Uh Randy. Rand- Randy Savage Macho man that’s it. Um Boneseyesreadyy? What’s your dream match? uuuummmm What do you look for in an opponent? Like, a deadly dude with mad muscles and tubular moves! That’s me Radical Ray! Look on into these eyes I’ve got those tubular moves you’re looking for! Are those radical enough for you Ray? Smell ya later! Any day- Any day Rad Ray! Smell you never! EEEERGHH You have to go with a guy whose- he self assured. That’s a man who knows what he is! He comes in and he just, he exudes confidence. He comes in and he’s like ‘I don’t really need you but I’m here anyway’ Kinda guy uuuh Kid friendly? Not so much uuuhh Shiny! Yeah Does this end?! I’m not into Luchadors bro. (reads in a Spanish accent) Hola Today you face death And his name is Señor Murder! I’m gonna admit that’s a pretty cool name. *sultry voice* Kill me now (reads Spanish) ¿Cuál fue su momento más apasionado en el ring? That means… In the moment what are you passionate about in the ring? I’m guessing. I don’t know uhhh (reads in spanish) Todavja tenemos que luchar, por lo que está po venir! Did I just say uh- *giggles* Take me now Oh jesus What did I say?! Cut! Can- can we cut? He’s a bit to much for me! uuhh Whatever about bad boys but this is too much- Help! I’m escaping, I’m getting away! BYE! *games music plays in background* Okay Señor Murder *giggles* Jesus Christ My chair went much further then I expected! Adios muchachos Okay uuh… I speak “flawless” Spanish So I’m just gonna say this right now (reads) Ma puedo esperar para sentir su abrazo! “Death life” uuh…thats a big fat negatory. Okay, this doesn’t end! Eeeerm… (deep rusty voice) Hey handsome! Are you man enough to bear The Bear Bear?! I don’t care bear I’m not into you Uhh… If I gave you a belly to belly suplex, what would you do? Cry AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH Okay, relax Care Bear! Jesus Christ! (reads) The big man. The bigger the better. Sweaty too! The wetter the better Okay, move along. Move along. You’re bearable (reads) Scram Full ball! EEEEEERGHH Jesus fucking Christ will you put it away?! Mother of god! NO! It never ends! This never ends! Okay, Imma have to put a stop to this. Imma just click random shit! And see how long this goes on for Get out! Go! Go away! Nope! NOPE! Nope! It just keeps goin- OKAY! Well I’m gonna have to leave this episode here! Before I get fff- before I vomit. Look at him! Oh god put him off the screen! *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP* Oh hey the episodes almost over! Okay- Well you’ve seen all of the dreamy opt- or (anoucner voice) Well you’ve seen all the dreamy options now its time to choose your favourites favourites…favourites…*fades* Its a tough choice! But remember: You can only choose threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Oh god! I have to pick three of them again! But why?! I thought I…I thought some of them I picked like yes or no or whatever on them. Um okay.. Arms King Pretty was pretty good. You’re my number 1. King Pretty yes! King Pretty was charming. umm The fucking, the freak show and the Bear Bear, the Dweeb, RADICAL RAY! uhmm Imma go with Señor Murder and Arms. Fantastic now lets see what your dates think of youu! Señor Murder what did you think of me? Whats happening? What do I do? What? Oh Jesus! Hey! RAAAAHHRR! Señor Murder! Come on down! Oh god that fucking ‘death life’ tattoo- AHH Jesus Christ! What the fuck?! Do I have to fight back? Ahhh he’s punching the shit outta me! NOT Mystery Average Dad Man! *uncomfortable confused Jack noises* Was I just massaging his ditties? Wh-what? *silent laughter* What the fuck was that? Is that the end? Well obviously, it’s fucking credits rolling down the screen. Oh my god! So that was the guy I ended up with, Señor Murder? AAH Jesus And to think…I was gonna end the episode after the fucking slimy dude and then after that was the end of the game…Oh God! *laughs* What is this? Made with Unity, are you just gonna start…? Okay, it’s just gonna start over again. That was fucking weird. I don’t know what I think about that? That was a crazy experience. *laughing* Okay, I have to go drink a lot of water and lay down after this. *laughs* Well that was Wrestling With Emotions! I’ll leave a link in the description if you guys wanna go off and play if for yourselves. It was actually kinda fun for what it was and I- oh God. I like making up all the charcters and making up all the voices voices for them and everything Oh, awesome. ANYWAY Thank you guys so much for watching this episode! If you liked it PUNCH that like button in the face! LIKE A BOSS and high fives all round *Wapish, Wapish* THANK YOU GUYS AND I WILL SEE ALL YOU DUDES IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!! *Deep rusty voice* Hey, hey, hey It’s Radical Ray! That was the most fun voice to do. *giggles*

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